Guest Post: Floid
Our compatriot, Floid, over at The Gravy Train, recently sent us the message below after reading through the old Biased Cut blog. I feel obligated to post in its raw form, and I’ll refrain from prefacing with anything. My response forthcoming.
First off, any guy wearing skinny jeans has weight issues and needs professional counseling immediately. In fact, whenever I see a guy with skinny jeans, the blood flow to my legs constricts (…don’t get dirty now, cause my zipper don’t fly that way hombre). In fact, I bet my fellow columnist is wearing skinny jeans right now. In his Pimm’s entry, he couldn’t even spell “masculinity” correctly. Don’t gaze me bro!
Without going too much into the history of jeans, Jeans became popular when workers wore them in the factories during World War II. If they all wore skinny jeans, we’d all be speaking German right now. In fact, I’m on page 82 of my long thesis on how being picky with fashion is actually a by-product of complacency and excess. Jeans were originally made (and still are) to be rugged and a little loose fitting for practical purposes.
It is because of these “tough” traits that jeans are the most widely adopted form of wear throughout the world. Think of all the masculine figures in American culture, they sure as hell didn’t wear “skinny jeans.” When you’re packin’ (or think you are), you can’t wear those aberrations.
Hell…not even JOHN MAYER wears skinny jeans.
So, as the fall approaches, do yourself one “biased cut” and cut those skinny jeans out of your wardrobe. Get yourself some real jeans and rough em up doing manly things.
By the way, is it just me, or is it weird that a “protein stain remover” was made by a “Madame Paulette?” Yeah…suuuuree…sweat, dairy, blood and/or vomit…